December 22, 2007

Memphis Airport, Memphis, Tennessee

Well, as you can tell from my address two lines up, we aren't home yet. The date says it's only one day later but because we crossed the international date line coming from China yesterday, it's actually been 2 days. In 1 1/2 hours it will be 48 hours since we woke up in China to begin this adventure. I'm writing now more than likely as a way to just distract myself. Needless to say we are all tired, very tired. Our body clocks are off, we've had little sleep which was broken at best, we've been eating airline and airport food, we're dehydrated because of the flights, Katie hurt her back yesterday, you have come down with a cold, and to top it all off our flight home, the new one, has just been delayed an hour ... so far. I say so far because it could be longer. Until the plane we are waiting on actually gets into the air, we don't know how long the delay will last.

I have tried to keep from sharing my frustration. A better way of saying that would be to say I have tried to keep from being just plain mean, and ugly. Until last night I was doing fine. Starting last night, and certainly now, I haven't been doing such a good job. It goes without saying my sinful nature is expressing itself, rather, I am expressing my sinful nature. At this moment I can reflect on how all of us, young and old, child and parent, have to answer for our behavior. You've had to be disciplined this morning for some of your behavior and I'm paying the price for my behavior as well, it just looks different. Your discipline looked like a pat on the bottom, some stern words, some loss of choices, etc. This from your mom and dad... us. My discipline looks like, or should I say feels like, conviction by the Holy Spirit and distancing myself from God. This from my heavenly Father. Fortunately this is not the same distancing that took place before I knew Jesus. Back then, my sins were not forgiven and my distancing was really seperation. Now that my sins are forgiven, I am not seperated from God, but my "walk" with Him can either be hand-in-hand or Him dragging me kicking and screaming. God's word says He will never leave or forsake me, now that I am His, and that He will finish the good work He has begun in me. The tough times, like this for example, provide opportunity to be strengthened, sanctified, sharpened, and grow. Even reminding myself of this now, by writing it to you, encourages and energizes me. Thank you God, and your Holy Spirit, for this time and the work you have done. I'm going to sign off so that I can go serve my family the way I should be doing rather than wallowing in self pity the way I have been. Love you lots, daddy.