December 5, 2007

FOR MY DAUGHTER
FROM DAD (BA BA)

It's now 2pm and our plane has only been in the air a few minutes. We should have lifted off at 6am so we are well behind schedule now. That's ok though because I know God is in charge, he is sovereign over all things, including getting us to China. Because we had an early flight in our schedule, we have been up since a little after 3am. Although it's only 2pm, it feels like it's bedtime. To be so early, my emotions and anxiety levels have been on a non-stop roller coaster ride for what seem forever. But I want you to know something, you are worth it!

As the process of your adoption has moved along, I found myself greatly uneffected when delays and such occurred. I rested in knowing it was in God's hands. The most significant delay occurred when our file was misplaced in China. We don't know how long it was missing, but rather than the average 80-90 day time frame for the particular step in the process we were at, it took 199 days. Your mom, well, she "struggled" with this. She was in communication with many other moms and it was tough seeing their files moving forward while we waited. I encouraged your mom with what I took comfort in, God's sovereignty and his timing. Your mom knows about God's sovereignty and his timing as well but we all need reminders now and again. Your mom became such a servant to so many of the families she was communicating with using "yahoo groups" and message boards. She encouraged them by sharing the same reminders. Your mom grew spiritually in this process. It's a good thing too.

Why? Well today, when our original flight didn't work out, and subsequent efforts to get us on earlier flights {than the one we are on now} didn't workout, I forgot (not completely) about being patient and resting in God's sovereignty. I never said anything harsh or was impolite to the airlines staff, but in my heart I was angry, frustrated, laying blame, presuming the worst, etc. That's why it's so good that your mom had been through her trials and had grown. It was her turn to remind me that God was in control and that everything was going to work out. In my heart I knew she was right, but my sinful nature wanted to express itself. In this case that didn't mean harsh words, but instead a very poor attitude that anyone around me could see.

Your sisters have done so well in all this. I am certain the excitement of flying around the world is only surpassed by getting you in the process. These girls love you so much already, as we all do. You are a very special girl to have God do so much to bring us together.

The growth, due to the temptations, must be to prepare us for the times ahead. I have no expectation that your transition into our family, and away from the loving family you have known for over a year now, will be easy. The fact you will probably experience much difficulty during this time means we, especially me, will have much difficulty as well. God has been gracious to begin preparing us in advance. The preparation, the growth, and God's grace will enable us to serve you better in your time of need. I am thankful that none of the delays surprised God. I am thankful that God always knew where your file was. I am thankful that none of this is left to chance. Nothing is too big for God. People can loose paperwork, planes can break, and weather can turn bad (that's why even the flight we're on left almost 2 hours late), but God will still get us to China, to you, when it's time.

I love you, dad.