Memphis Airport, Memphis, Tennessee
Well, as you can tell from my address two lines up, we aren't home yet. The date says it's only one day later but because we crossed the international date line coming from China yesterday, it's actually been 2 days. In 1 1/2 hours it will be 48 hours since we woke up in China to begin this adventure. I'm writing now more than likely as a way to just distract myself. Needless to say we are all tired, very tired. Our body clocks are off, we've had little sleep which was broken at best, we've been eating airline and airport food, we're dehydrated because of the flights, Katie hurt her back yesterday, you have come down with a cold, and to top it all off our flight home, the new one, has just been delayed an hour ... so far. I say so far because it could be longer. Until the plane we are waiting on actually gets into the air, we don't know how long the delay will last.
I have tried to keep from sharing my frustration. A better way of saying that would be to say I have tried to keep from being just plain mean, and ugly. Until last night I was doing fine. Starting last night, and certainly now, I haven't been doing such a good job. It goes without saying my sinful nature is expressing itself, rather, I am expressing my sinful nature. At this moment I can reflect on how all of us, young and old, child and parent, have to answer for our behavior. You've had to be disciplined this morning for some of your behavior and I'm paying the price for my behavior as well, it just looks different. Your discipline looked like a pat on the bottom, some stern words, some loss of choices, etc. This from your mom and dad... us. My discipline looks like, or should I say feels like, conviction by the Holy Spirit and distancing myself from God. This from my heavenly Father. Fortunately this is not the same distancing that took place before I knew Jesus. Back then, my sins were not forgiven and my distancing was really seperation. Now that my sins are forgiven, I am not seperated from God, but my "walk" with Him can either be hand-in-hand or Him dragging me kicking and screaming. God's word says He will never leave or forsake me, now that I am His, and that He will finish the good work He has begun in me. The tough times, like this for example, provide opportunity to be strengthened, sanctified, sharpened, and grow. Even reminding myself of this now, by writing it to you, encourages and energizes me. Thank you God, and your Holy Spirit, for this time and the work you have done. I'm going to sign off so that I can go serve my family the way I should be doing rather than wallowing in self pity the way I have been. Love you lots, daddy.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
December 21, 2007
Guangzhou to Tokyo, North West Airlines Flight 10
Well the trek home has begun. The alarm this morning went off at 4:20am in Guangzhou. We will travel, flights and layovers, more than 25 hrs. The first leg of the journey, which is now, takes the whole family, 5 Americans and 1 Chinese, from Guangzhou, China to Tokyo, Japan. After a 2 hour layover, we begin the most significant portion of the trip, Tokyo to Detroit, Michigan in the U.S.A. That leg is significant in 2 key ways. First, it is the longest at over 12 hours. Second, once we land, our family becomes 6 Americans. Six Americans whose biological clocks are mixed up. The rest of us know about this and will do our best to adjust. You on the other hand don't know about it and will undoubtedly be confused. How long before you will sleep all night in Florida? Who knows, as a kid you may make the adjustment faster than the rest of us.
We anticiapte a large welcoming party to be waiting at the airport when we finally make it home. Mammy and Pop, your mom's parents, will be there as well as several close friends from Crossway Community Church. Despite how tired we will be, it will be very nice to see everyone. You're not even in America yet and you're already a hit.
In just a few days you will experience your first Christmas in America. It will undoubtedly be much different than any you have experienced to date. Not only is Christmas a much larger cultural and social event in America than in China, it also has a very significant meaning within our family. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus. Jesus was God in human form, as the son of God the Father. This birth was the start of something very special. This baby Jesus grew up to be the savior of the world. He paid the price of a perfect sacrifice so that those who know Him and put their faith in Him can live eternally in heaven, in the presence of God. We will celebrate at home and with our church family. You will like getting to know our church family. Most of your friends and sisters will be a part of our church family. At your age that will be the most important thing to you, friends and s. The church family part will come later. That's ok.
For the first several days at home, Mammy and Pop will be there. Then BeBe and Poppy will come to see you. That's my mother and father. Your grandparents have been waiting patiently to meet you. They have been excited about the adoption since we first mentioned it to them. They are probably as amazed as we are that it is finally winding down. You are very fortunate that your mom and dad both have moms and dads who love each other and remain close to their children. This means your family is actually much larger than those of us in the house in Niceville. Adding to the list of family is your aunts, uncles and cousins. Your mom's brother, Troy, is married to your Aunt Angela and they have a son, your cousin, named Ross. My sister, your "Aunt Sis," is married to your Uncle Todd and they have 4 children. These cousins are named Cherish, Chase, Linda, and Ashley. Cherish is older and already living on her own so I don't expect you will have much time or relationship with her. Chase is nearing that point but I expect you'll get to know him as he is very close to the family and will probably remain that way. Linda and Ashley are only a few years older than you and y'all should have many years of growing up together.
Well the trek home has begun. The alarm this morning went off at 4:20am in Guangzhou. We will travel, flights and layovers, more than 25 hrs. The first leg of the journey, which is now, takes the whole family, 5 Americans and 1 Chinese, from Guangzhou, China to Tokyo, Japan. After a 2 hour layover, we begin the most significant portion of the trip, Tokyo to Detroit, Michigan in the U.S.A. That leg is significant in 2 key ways. First, it is the longest at over 12 hours. Second, once we land, our family becomes 6 Americans. Six Americans whose biological clocks are mixed up. The rest of us know about this and will do our best to adjust. You on the other hand don't know about it and will undoubtedly be confused. How long before you will sleep all night in Florida? Who knows, as a kid you may make the adjustment faster than the rest of us.
We anticiapte a large welcoming party to be waiting at the airport when we finally make it home. Mammy and Pop, your mom's parents, will be there as well as several close friends from Crossway Community Church. Despite how tired we will be, it will be very nice to see everyone. You're not even in America yet and you're already a hit.
In just a few days you will experience your first Christmas in America. It will undoubtedly be much different than any you have experienced to date. Not only is Christmas a much larger cultural and social event in America than in China, it also has a very significant meaning within our family. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus. Jesus was God in human form, as the son of God the Father. This birth was the start of something very special. This baby Jesus grew up to be the savior of the world. He paid the price of a perfect sacrifice so that those who know Him and put their faith in Him can live eternally in heaven, in the presence of God. We will celebrate at home and with our church family. You will like getting to know our church family. Most of your friends and sisters will be a part of our church family. At your age that will be the most important thing to you, friends and s. The church family part will come later. That's ok.
For the first several days at home, Mammy and Pop will be there. Then BeBe and Poppy will come to see you. That's my mother and father. Your grandparents have been waiting patiently to meet you. They have been excited about the adoption since we first mentioned it to them. They are probably as amazed as we are that it is finally winding down. You are very fortunate that your mom and dad both have moms and dads who love each other and remain close to their children. This means your family is actually much larger than those of us in the house in Niceville. Adding to the list of family is your aunts, uncles and cousins. Your mom's brother, Troy, is married to your Aunt Angela and they have a son, your cousin, named Ross. My sister, your "Aunt Sis," is married to your Uncle Todd and they have 4 children. These cousins are named Cherish, Chase, Linda, and Ashley. Cherish is older and already living on her own so I don't expect you will have much time or relationship with her. Chase is nearing that point but I expect you'll get to know him as he is very close to the family and will probably remain that way. Linda and Ashley are only a few years older than you and y'all should have many years of growing up together.
Monday, December 24, 2007
December 14,2007
Hotel Room 1036
Discipline Matters
I'm in your room writing for just a few minutes as all of you are in my room asleep. That is except Gracie. As usual she took about 2 seconds after we arrived to find a friend. She is out with that family now.
Today we (you, me, Katie, Gracie) toured a Buddhist temple, The Old Chen House, and a folk art shop. The temple and the house were 2 more fine examples of Chinese culture and history. The folk art shop, well, that was shopping. I did get some things though; a 10 pair chopstick set with stands, an ox bone carved chess set of either the Quing or Ming Dynasty, and Katie found ear rings for herself, a hair pin for Jane Ellen and a nail file for mom. The last 3 items were all closina (I can't spell it). All in all, it was a nice morning.
Mom and Jane Ellen stayed at the hotel as Jane Ellen isn't feeling well. I thought it would be good for mom to stay with her so they could chat (girl talk) and that it may give mom a chance to read her bible and/or listen to a sermon. The confines of the hotel, being away from home and normalcy, lack of fellowship with her friends, being off schedule, etc have added up. Your mom is handling it well but what I'm seeing is also self-control, patience, and sanctification. That doesn't mean she's not getting eaten up inside and I don't know it. We know we need to get some together time. We don't know when that will be. Besides the activities and official business we stay busy. Eating involves going out as a family. That's not conducive to the talking and fellowship we need. Our bodies' clocks have adjusted well but we still seem to be on different clocks as I'm up early and down early. She's up later and down later. Your too young to understand what I mean by all this now but when you are becoming a woman, preparing for marriage, and after you become a wife and mother, you will understand.
All of this, plus one other big thing, sort of have us humbled right now. I say humbled because we can't solve it on our own. We need God. Only he can solve it and give us the grace to work through it in a way that glorifies Him. The one big thing I'm referring to is you. Well before I had imagined it, we have had to begin applying some discipline. Your mom may have anticipated discipline before I did, but I don't know if she was ready now or not either. I thing she may have been prepared. She's done wonderfully with it all. I have been a bit tardy but am coming around. Today was my opportunity to step up as I was with you on the tour and mom was not. More on that in a bit.
First, the Buddhist temple. It was much smaller than I had anticipated. There were several statues, very large, large, and small inside. Some appeared made of gold (the largest), some jade and other stones, and others looked like plastic but it's hard to tell. In the center was a tall pagoda. Our guides told us that although it looked like 9 stories tall from the outside, on the inside it was actually 12 stories. We couldn't go inside. The troubling part of being here is seeing the number of people inside worshiping these statues. Sure, in their mind they are not worshiping a statue, but rather Buddha...or one of the Buddhas, it appears there are several... including one female. I know, and pray that you come to this knowledge by the grace of God, that what they are praying to is just raw material, stone, wood, metal, etc. I've never seen stone, wood or metal perform miracles and I definitely know they don't provide the path to eternal life or repair relationships with God. Only a relationship with Jesus can repair relationships with God and that's the only way to eternal life.
As we went round the temple there was one lady who just happened to be at the same place we were on several occasions. I wondered how many different "prayers" she offered to how many different statues and how many sticks of inscents she burned, not to mention the money she placed in offering boxes and food on plates. Besides her ceremonies, there were other official ceremonies going on with long single row lines of people, maybe monks, perhaps some not, moving about from one building to another, hitting cymbals and drums and burning more inscents. There was one old monk getting led around by a couple younger monks. He was led into an inner area of one building containing a demonish looking statue. Tourist and worshipers could see inside and take photos but not go inside. This old man looked very happy as he kept a smile on his face. How misled. I don't know anything about buddhism so I don't know what he has been promised in his faith, eternal life, reincarnation, peace, etc... but what a lie. Part of this tour included an optional "blessing" by the monks for the adoptive children. It was optional and we opted out, as many of the Christian families do. Our guides told us on the way over that it was not a religious thing. Rather it was more or less a way of saying thank you for adopting the children. Regardless, God has commanded that He is the one and only god, there are no others, and that man should not worship any graven image. I'm opting for God's commands, His pleasure, and His glory. Not the blessing of a misguided, mortal human being.
You were fairly well behaved here. The next stop was at the Old Chen House. This is where my luck ran out. (By the way, I don't literally mean that, luck has nothing to do with it). You and I had our battle of wills. The Old Chen House (that's Chan in America) was built by members of the Chen family. The 2 largest families in China are the Chen and the Lee. The Chens donated monies 110 years or so ago to build this site for the benefit of the whole family. They could come here to worship their common ancestors. There was also an academy on site for the benefit of training family members who desired to earn jobs within the old feudal system (before the overthrow of the dynasties and before communism) that required education. Under communism, the property was seized by the government and turned into a cultural museum. As a matter of fact, that name Old Chen House isn't even the official name. The government would never allow that. This was a beautiful place. Carved porcelain , stone and wood. The many courtyards, rooms, gardens, and statues were a testament to the care to detail taken in old works in China. While in one of these courtyards, right were everyone could see, you and I did battle. I mean that figuratively of course. Something happened to cause you to pitch a fit. You threw down a museum brochure you had been carrying and started sounding out like a peacock. This sound commonly precedes your "aaa...aaa...aaa" I wrote about in an earlier letter. Your mother and I had already started addressing your fits and sounding out and of course I needed to follow through here and now. I pointed to the brochure and told you to pick it up. You held your ground and continued to sound like a peacock. Neither of us budged. I moved you close enough to the brochure to make it easier for you and to make sure you knew what I wanted (still struggling with the language barrier). Now you wanted to get away. I knelt down and loosely put my arms around you sort of like a corral. This kept you close to the brochure, still needing to be picked up, but also gave you freedom to move. We had been told that in China, "personal space" and starring were handled differently. The performance you and I were putting on attracted quite the audience. Chinese people stood around, within just feet of us, starring, not even roughly discreetly, at us. In the distance I saw Grace, one of the CCAI representatives, watching. Of course she had seen you act out and heard you sound out before. But this was the worst and the longest. We went through 2 or 3 episodes where I would pick up the brochure, using your hand, and you'd throw it back down. You'd throw it far enough so that we would have to move to get close enough for the next round. You would "mmm...mmm...mmm" and "aaa...aaa...aaa" and cry. Big tears. Finally you turned, looked me eye to eye (I was knelt down to your level), our noses just inches apart, and yelled 3 syllables in Chinese (unintelligible words to me), then turned away continuing to cry. This went on a good 10 minutes. We had developed quite an audience by this time. I don't recall what started it but all it took to end it was for you to pick up the brochure you had thrown down in a fit. Finally you eased up a bit, I used your hand to pick up the brochure, and Grace, still watching in the distance, walked over to help. She spoke to you in Chinese, (Mandarin which you don't understand, but we think it calms you regardless) and pointed to a room with puppets on display. You let me pick you up (I think you were wore out) and we went to look at puppets. You continued with a very low and subtle "mmm...mmm...mmm" which I began to think was a calming technique you had developed either in the orphanage or in foster care. The rest of the outing went ok, with a few intermittent "aaa...aaa...aaa" and "mmm...mmm...mmm's" to follow. The pinnacle however was the 3 syllables rifled at me from shore range. At that moment you were royally ticked. At that moment you were not happy about this adoption thing. At that moment, as far as I know, you were in mourning for your foster family. They had been your "family" for the last year-and-a-half, since the age of about 2yrs, and you had grown close to them. They took you from a child labeled "development delayed" to the everyone looked at now and said "big grl." This time is hard on you, and us. We are doing what we know is right in loving you by setting boundaries, limits, and parameters for appropriate and inappropriate behavior. You are responding. In between these not so happy moments are lots of very happy times. God established rules and authority for our benefit and His glory. Mom and dad have authorities we must answer to. God is the most important one. He tells us to "train you up" so that is what we must do. We do it out of love for you and for your future. Like I said, it's hard on all of us but you are learning the benefits quickly. I also believe you are coming to realize it's a sign of love and a sign that this relationship means something. These folks aren't going anywhere. That's a promise I make to you now. You will never need another mom or dad or family (God willing and may He give us the years). Remember the words I wrote in an earlier letter, you are just as much a part of this family as the other children, entitled to everything they are entitled to, including all of me and your mom's love. I love you, dad.
Discipline Matters
I'm in your room writing for just a few minutes as all of you are in my room asleep. That is except Gracie. As usual she took about 2 seconds after we arrived to find a friend. She is out with that family now.
Today we (you, me, Katie, Gracie) toured a Buddhist temple, The Old Chen House, and a folk art shop. The temple and the house were 2 more fine examples of Chinese culture and history. The folk art shop, well, that was shopping. I did get some things though; a 10 pair chopstick set with stands, an ox bone carved chess set of either the Quing or Ming Dynasty, and Katie found ear rings for herself, a hair pin for Jane Ellen and a nail file for mom. The last 3 items were all closina (I can't spell it). All in all, it was a nice morning.
Mom and Jane Ellen stayed at the hotel as Jane Ellen isn't feeling well. I thought it would be good for mom to stay with her so they could chat (girl talk) and that it may give mom a chance to read her bible and/or listen to a sermon. The confines of the hotel, being away from home and normalcy, lack of fellowship with her friends, being off schedule, etc have added up. Your mom is handling it well but what I'm seeing is also self-control, patience, and sanctification. That doesn't mean she's not getting eaten up inside and I don't know it. We know we need to get some together time. We don't know when that will be. Besides the activities and official business we stay busy. Eating involves going out as a family. That's not conducive to the talking and fellowship we need. Our bodies' clocks have adjusted well but we still seem to be on different clocks as I'm up early and down early. She's up later and down later. Your too young to understand what I mean by all this now but when you are becoming a woman, preparing for marriage, and after you become a wife and mother, you will understand.
All of this, plus one other big thing, sort of have us humbled right now. I say humbled because we can't solve it on our own. We need God. Only he can solve it and give us the grace to work through it in a way that glorifies Him. The one big thing I'm referring to is you. Well before I had imagined it, we have had to begin applying some discipline. Your mom may have anticipated discipline before I did, but I don't know if she was ready now or not either. I thing she may have been prepared. She's done wonderfully with it all. I have been a bit tardy but am coming around. Today was my opportunity to step up as I was with you on the tour and mom was not. More on that in a bit.
First, the Buddhist temple. It was much smaller than I had anticipated. There were several statues, very large, large, and small inside. Some appeared made of gold (the largest), some jade and other stones, and others looked like plastic but it's hard to tell. In the center was a tall pagoda. Our guides told us that although it looked like 9 stories tall from the outside, on the inside it was actually 12 stories. We couldn't go inside. The troubling part of being here is seeing the number of people inside worshiping these statues. Sure, in their mind they are not worshiping a statue, but rather Buddha...or one of the Buddhas, it appears there are several... including one female. I know, and pray that you come to this knowledge by the grace of God, that what they are praying to is just raw material, stone, wood, metal, etc. I've never seen stone, wood or metal perform miracles and I definitely know they don't provide the path to eternal life or repair relationships with God. Only a relationship with Jesus can repair relationships with God and that's the only way to eternal life.
As we went round the temple there was one lady who just happened to be at the same place we were on several occasions. I wondered how many different "prayers" she offered to how many different statues and how many sticks of inscents she burned, not to mention the money she placed in offering boxes and food on plates. Besides her ceremonies, there were other official ceremonies going on with long single row lines of people, maybe monks, perhaps some not, moving about from one building to another, hitting cymbals and drums and burning more inscents. There was one old monk getting led around by a couple younger monks. He was led into an inner area of one building containing a demonish looking statue. Tourist and worshipers could see inside and take photos but not go inside. This old man looked very happy as he kept a smile on his face. How misled. I don't know anything about buddhism so I don't know what he has been promised in his faith, eternal life, reincarnation, peace, etc... but what a lie. Part of this tour included an optional "blessing" by the monks for the adoptive children. It was optional and we opted out, as many of the Christian families do. Our guides told us on the way over that it was not a religious thing. Rather it was more or less a way of saying thank you for adopting the children. Regardless, God has commanded that He is the one and only god, there are no others, and that man should not worship any graven image. I'm opting for God's commands, His pleasure, and His glory. Not the blessing of a misguided, mortal human being.
You were fairly well behaved here. The next stop was at the Old Chen House. This is where my luck ran out. (By the way, I don't literally mean that, luck has nothing to do with it). You and I had our battle of wills. The Old Chen House (that's Chan in America) was built by members of the Chen family. The 2 largest families in China are the Chen and the Lee. The Chens donated monies 110 years or so ago to build this site for the benefit of the whole family. They could come here to worship their common ancestors. There was also an academy on site for the benefit of training family members who desired to earn jobs within the old feudal system (before the overthrow of the dynasties and before communism) that required education. Under communism, the property was seized by the government and turned into a cultural museum. As a matter of fact, that name Old Chen House isn't even the official name. The government would never allow that. This was a beautiful place. Carved porcelain , stone and wood. The many courtyards, rooms, gardens, and statues were a testament to the care to detail taken in old works in China. While in one of these courtyards, right were everyone could see, you and I did battle. I mean that figuratively of course. Something happened to cause you to pitch a fit. You threw down a museum brochure you had been carrying and started sounding out like a peacock. This sound commonly precedes your "aaa...aaa...aaa" I wrote about in an earlier letter. Your mother and I had already started addressing your fits and sounding out and of course I needed to follow through here and now. I pointed to the brochure and told you to pick it up. You held your ground and continued to sound like a peacock. Neither of us budged. I moved you close enough to the brochure to make it easier for you and to make sure you knew what I wanted (still struggling with the language barrier). Now you wanted to get away. I knelt down and loosely put my arms around you sort of like a corral. This kept you close to the brochure, still needing to be picked up, but also gave you freedom to move. We had been told that in China, "personal space" and starring were handled differently. The performance you and I were putting on attracted quite the audience. Chinese people stood around, within just feet of us, starring, not even roughly discreetly, at us. In the distance I saw Grace, one of the CCAI representatives, watching. Of course she had seen you act out and heard you sound out before. But this was the worst and the longest. We went through 2 or 3 episodes where I would pick up the brochure, using your hand, and you'd throw it back down. You'd throw it far enough so that we would have to move to get close enough for the next round. You would "mmm...mmm...mmm" and "aaa...aaa...aaa" and cry. Big tears. Finally you turned, looked me eye to eye (I was knelt down to your level), our noses just inches apart, and yelled 3 syllables in Chinese (unintelligible words to me), then turned away continuing to cry. This went on a good 10 minutes. We had developed quite an audience by this time. I don't recall what started it but all it took to end it was for you to pick up the brochure you had thrown down in a fit. Finally you eased up a bit, I used your hand to pick up the brochure, and Grace, still watching in the distance, walked over to help. She spoke to you in Chinese, (Mandarin which you don't understand, but we think it calms you regardless) and pointed to a room with puppets on display. You let me pick you up (I think you were wore out) and we went to look at puppets. You continued with a very low and subtle "mmm...mmm...mmm" which I began to think was a calming technique you had developed either in the orphanage or in foster care. The rest of the outing went ok, with a few intermittent "aaa...aaa...aaa" and "mmm...mmm...mmm's" to follow. The pinnacle however was the 3 syllables rifled at me from shore range. At that moment you were royally ticked. At that moment you were not happy about this adoption thing. At that moment, as far as I know, you were in mourning for your foster family. They had been your "family" for the last year-and-a-half, since the age of about 2yrs, and you had grown close to them. They took you from a child labeled "development delayed" to the everyone looked at now and said "big grl." This time is hard on you, and us. We are doing what we know is right in loving you by setting boundaries, limits, and parameters for appropriate and inappropriate behavior. You are responding. In between these not so happy moments are lots of very happy times. God established rules and authority for our benefit and His glory. Mom and dad have authorities we must answer to. God is the most important one. He tells us to "train you up" so that is what we must do. We do it out of love for you and for your future. Like I said, it's hard on all of us but you are learning the benefits quickly. I also believe you are coming to realize it's a sign of love and a sign that this relationship means something. These folks aren't going anywhere. That's a promise I make to you now. You will never need another mom or dad or family (God willing and may He give us the years). Remember the words I wrote in an earlier letter, you are just as much a part of this family as the other children, entitled to everything they are entitled to, including all of me and your mom's love. I love you, dad.
Monday, December 17, 2007
December 13, 2007
1:30pm, Hotel Room 1037, White Swan, Guangzhou, China
Hopefully you are napping now. I say hopefully because unlike the last 2 days, today you are not cooperating. You aren't being loud or crying or such, but you won't go to sleep. You were very, very close a few times but then you'd find something to do. Once you picked up your little crib pillow and just started cackling. You thought that pillow was so funny for some reason.
Well, so much for hoping - Katie just brought you into the room (we have adjoining rooms) wide awake. You were saying "I Bi Di." That means you need to go to the bathroom. That is pronounced "I Buy Die." We don't know the exact translation but we made the connection between those words and the action the first night with you in the hotel. The young lady from the orphanage confirmed the meaning the next morning at the Civil Affairs office.
On the subject of words, you have said a few. "A, O, I" (pronounced as you read the capital letters A-O-I) means you want down. You sa Ba Ba, daddy. You've said Ma Ma a few times, mommy. Once you pointed to pictures of your sisters and said "gei gei," big sister (pronounced jshee jshee). Once, on day two with you, your sisters and I heard a very distinct "I do it!" We all looked at each other in amazement thinking we had all heard the same thing. It's the only time you have said it, so maybe we were just imagining it. Your actions at the time sure fit the words though so who knows. You have learned a soft "thank you." Mom and the girls have taught you to sign "more please" when eating. You are now signing "thank you" following the "more please" but you do it immediately following "more please" so I'm not sure you understand the concept of "thank you" yet.
That's about the end of communication so far except for one other significant item. Unfortunately we haven't figured out how to resolve this one. You have a very distinct moan you make when something isn't right. The moan doesn't indicate what's wrong and that's what makes it hard to resolve. You just "aaa...aaa...aaa..." on and on. You had done this once already with no big ordeal when the night before last it happened again, this time for real. It wasn't hard to figure this one out though, you were hungry and it was our fault. This was on day 2 and it was late. After 2 days of activities, official and unofficial, we had pushed you near the limit. You were tired and hungry and tried to let us know. "Aaa...aaa...aaa..." and we were walking to the restaurant. It took 10 or more minutes so we got out the peanuts and they calmed you. Once in the restaurant you started again "aaa...aaa...aaa..." The food didn't come fast enough and you could not be consoled. You started to cry, loudly! Huge tears showed up instantly and started to roll down your cheeks. Some kids are just pitiful when they cry. You are one of them. The eyes, the tears, the cry... all coupled with your past, just breaks my heart. Since you are still more of daddy's girl than anything, I took you outside, peanuts in hand. After just 2 peanuts you calmed down and relaxed. You and I just hung out outside until the food was served. Our interpretation of this scenario was that you didn't have confidence yet that you were going to be fed. The "aaa's" were the sign "I'm hungry" and the all out crying was your realization "I'm not getting fed." Only it wasn't reality, we just hadn't been served the food yet and couldn't feed you. I think we worked through it ok, you just need more time to gain complete confidence in us, know that you will be cared for (including food), and of course a common language. All in due time.
By the way, it's 2:15 and you're still not asleep. This could mean trouble because at 3:30 we leave for your medical exam. We shouldn't be gone long but you may get ornery having not slept. If you do fall asleep, you won't sleep long enough and we will have to wake you up. This happened yesterday and you didn't like it.
Because you are older and so independent, many of the Chinese ladies, CCAI guides and hotel staff, try to talk to you, especially when you are being a little stubborn. A few have commented that they don't think you understand them. You certainly give no indication you understand them. You either just stare blankly or continue doing what you're doing as if they don't exist. Your life so far has been lived in Shantou. That's in Guangdong province just like Guangzhou. However in Shantou the language is different. From what we have been told the dialect there is very, very different and very, very, difficult. Whereas Mandarin is spoken and understood in many places throughout China, and where some can communicate across dialects, in Shantou it's different. Our guide in Beijing said she would not be able to communicate in Shantou. I would think that is hard on you also. Nothing you say, or nothing you hear said, is understood. You seem to work through this though. God's grace in your life and ours.
On a happy note, you love to play... hard, very hard! When you play, you have the biggest grin. You're definitely a Brown. When you smile, your eyes close just like dad's. You laugh loudly. You cackle and giggle and make the best "happy" sounds. You play all out. Full speed should be your middle name. You like to play on the bed which makes me nervous. Our first "no" has been about standing on the bed to play. You lay on the bed and thrash. You kick your feet, turn your head side to side wildly, swing your arms and just laugh. You still love playing with the soft squishy ball mom brought for you. No rolling though, you prefer to throw and catch. I think when we get home and you have lots of room to roam, that you will really enjoy this. The houses are bigger of course. Likewise the inside of the house, each room, is much, much bigger than in China. Outside will consist of a yard which will be new to you. Here there are parks scattered around but obviously not everyone gets to go there often. There are just too many people for that. How will you react to the beach? That will be an entirely new experience for you. Lots of sunshine, white sand, and water, water everywhere. Waves too! Sand castles, picnics, burying people in the sand, and more waves. That's just the beginning of all the fun we will have little girl. How about learning to ride a bike? Playing sports (soccer, running, track & field, etc), playing with Hank (the dog), outside activities, kayaking, boat rides, etc. What a wonderful time we will have.
It's time for me to go now. We have to wake you up to get ready for your medical exam. This exam is needed to get your travel visa. You haven't been alseep along time so we'll see how this goes. Quietly or not so quietly, makes no difference. I love you and we'll be ok. Love dad.
Hopefully you are napping now. I say hopefully because unlike the last 2 days, today you are not cooperating. You aren't being loud or crying or such, but you won't go to sleep. You were very, very close a few times but then you'd find something to do. Once you picked up your little crib pillow and just started cackling. You thought that pillow was so funny for some reason.
Well, so much for hoping - Katie just brought you into the room (we have adjoining rooms) wide awake. You were saying "I Bi Di." That means you need to go to the bathroom. That is pronounced "I Buy Die." We don't know the exact translation but we made the connection between those words and the action the first night with you in the hotel. The young lady from the orphanage confirmed the meaning the next morning at the Civil Affairs office.
On the subject of words, you have said a few. "A, O, I" (pronounced as you read the capital letters A-O-I) means you want down. You sa Ba Ba, daddy. You've said Ma Ma a few times, mommy. Once you pointed to pictures of your sisters and said "gei gei," big sister (pronounced jshee jshee). Once, on day two with you, your sisters and I heard a very distinct "I do it!" We all looked at each other in amazement thinking we had all heard the same thing. It's the only time you have said it, so maybe we were just imagining it. Your actions at the time sure fit the words though so who knows. You have learned a soft "thank you." Mom and the girls have taught you to sign "more please" when eating. You are now signing "thank you" following the "more please" but you do it immediately following "more please" so I'm not sure you understand the concept of "thank you" yet.
That's about the end of communication so far except for one other significant item. Unfortunately we haven't figured out how to resolve this one. You have a very distinct moan you make when something isn't right. The moan doesn't indicate what's wrong and that's what makes it hard to resolve. You just "aaa...aaa...aaa..." on and on. You had done this once already with no big ordeal when the night before last it happened again, this time for real. It wasn't hard to figure this one out though, you were hungry and it was our fault. This was on day 2 and it was late. After 2 days of activities, official and unofficial, we had pushed you near the limit. You were tired and hungry and tried to let us know. "Aaa...aaa...aaa..." and we were walking to the restaurant. It took 10 or more minutes so we got out the peanuts and they calmed you. Once in the restaurant you started again "aaa...aaa...aaa..." The food didn't come fast enough and you could not be consoled. You started to cry, loudly! Huge tears showed up instantly and started to roll down your cheeks. Some kids are just pitiful when they cry. You are one of them. The eyes, the tears, the cry... all coupled with your past, just breaks my heart. Since you are still more of daddy's girl than anything, I took you outside, peanuts in hand. After just 2 peanuts you calmed down and relaxed. You and I just hung out outside until the food was served. Our interpretation of this scenario was that you didn't have confidence yet that you were going to be fed. The "aaa's" were the sign "I'm hungry" and the all out crying was your realization "I'm not getting fed." Only it wasn't reality, we just hadn't been served the food yet and couldn't feed you. I think we worked through it ok, you just need more time to gain complete confidence in us, know that you will be cared for (including food), and of course a common language. All in due time.
By the way, it's 2:15 and you're still not asleep. This could mean trouble because at 3:30 we leave for your medical exam. We shouldn't be gone long but you may get ornery having not slept. If you do fall asleep, you won't sleep long enough and we will have to wake you up. This happened yesterday and you didn't like it.
Because you are older and so independent, many of the Chinese ladies, CCAI guides and hotel staff, try to talk to you, especially when you are being a little stubborn. A few have commented that they don't think you understand them. You certainly give no indication you understand them. You either just stare blankly or continue doing what you're doing as if they don't exist. Your life so far has been lived in Shantou. That's in Guangdong province just like Guangzhou. However in Shantou the language is different. From what we have been told the dialect there is very, very different and very, very, difficult. Whereas Mandarin is spoken and understood in many places throughout China, and where some can communicate across dialects, in Shantou it's different. Our guide in Beijing said she would not be able to communicate in Shantou. I would think that is hard on you also. Nothing you say, or nothing you hear said, is understood. You seem to work through this though. God's grace in your life and ours.
On a happy note, you love to play... hard, very hard! When you play, you have the biggest grin. You're definitely a Brown. When you smile, your eyes close just like dad's. You laugh loudly. You cackle and giggle and make the best "happy" sounds. You play all out. Full speed should be your middle name. You like to play on the bed which makes me nervous. Our first "no" has been about standing on the bed to play. You lay on the bed and thrash. You kick your feet, turn your head side to side wildly, swing your arms and just laugh. You still love playing with the soft squishy ball mom brought for you. No rolling though, you prefer to throw and catch. I think when we get home and you have lots of room to roam, that you will really enjoy this. The houses are bigger of course. Likewise the inside of the house, each room, is much, much bigger than in China. Outside will consist of a yard which will be new to you. Here there are parks scattered around but obviously not everyone gets to go there often. There are just too many people for that. How will you react to the beach? That will be an entirely new experience for you. Lots of sunshine, white sand, and water, water everywhere. Waves too! Sand castles, picnics, burying people in the sand, and more waves. That's just the beginning of all the fun we will have little girl. How about learning to ride a bike? Playing sports (soccer, running, track & field, etc), playing with Hank (the dog), outside activities, kayaking, boat rides, etc. What a wonderful time we will have.
It's time for me to go now. We have to wake you up to get ready for your medical exam. This exam is needed to get your travel visa. You haven't been alseep along time so we'll see how this goes. Quietly or not so quietly, makes no difference. I love you and we'll be ok. Love dad.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
December 12, 2007
Room 1037, White Swan Hotel, Guangzhou, China
I got a little time that I didn't expect. Great! I am really enjoying writing you and was getting disappointed after 2 days of not writing. I just laid you down for your nap. You and I did that yesterday as well. You lay down so nicely. No fuss, no resistance. You just lay there as you wind down, rub your face a little, and suddenly you are asleep. You're so beautiful and peaceful lying there.
Yesterday was another eventful day. You woke up happy and smiling. I was surprised that you were the last one to wake up. Having your surroundings completely changed, experiencing the trauma of leaving everyone you know, and spending the night with nobody you know should be too much. Either we somehow convinced you that we were ok or you were just so spent emotionally and physically that your body just couldn't fight it. I tend to suspect that latter but take comfort in the former only because of how smooth it's gone thus far. I also take comfort in God's grace as I know all good things come from God, including you.
Our first breakfast as a family went well. You clearly let us know what you like and dislike. You like eggs, period! You liked sausage and bacon. You liked chicken nuggets. You liked rice noodles. You liked the first couple of bites of watermelon and cantaloupe, but only the first couple. There was a muffin that you ate some. You clearly did not like cabbage. As a cabbage connoisseur I thought the cabbage was excellent. You promptly moved it off your plate. An attempt to feed some to you from my fork was met with no debate, only your back. You continued to amaze us with all that you can do. For example, last night it was the bathroom and bathing. This morning you showed expert control of a very large and heavy fork. The orphanage representative told your mom you had used spoons. You scooped and stabbed with precision, had great aim, and if something dripped on your chin, you never broke stride. you smoothly slid the edge of the fork up your chin toward your bottom lip just like an experienced mom would do when feeding her infant baby food. Your information form from the orphanage said you only drank almond drink. This morning you drank milk, hurray! Almond drink would be hard to come by back home. In general you did not show much like for vegetables.
Mid-morning to lunch was spent back at Civil Affairs to complete "interviews" and adoption notarization. This made the adoption official, you were ours forever! Grace and Kathy explained on the bus ride there that 2 interviews would occur. 99% of the time these were done by females who would be brief, ask mostly the same questions, and be very nice. Only rarely would an interview be conducted by a male. If a male interviewed us, he was a bureaucrat. This meant he had to make his "office," or position, known. He would ask the same questions as well, and then some. He may not be as nice or brief. We were told all of our answers needed to be simple, brief, and kind. For example, when asked "why did you adopt Chinese baby," an appropriate answer would be "we like Chinese culture," "we think Chinese babies are cute," or "to help the babies." This goes back to the importance of appearance in Chinese culture. Well to make a long story short, guess who got interviewed by the bureaucrat, we did! It wasn't too bad but he did ask more and wasn't as nice. When I told him we adopted from China "to help the children" he didn't give me a warm, fuzzy feeling. I think to say "to help the children" was to admit there was a problem. He might have preferred "we like Chinese culture" as that shines a positive light on everything. Your mom quickly added the "Chinese culture" answer to mine and that made it okay. The bureaucrat asked at least 3 times why I was adopting a girl when I already had 3 girls. "Why not a boy?" I jokingly answered I knew how to do girls. A boy would be something I knew nothing about. He did smile at that. When it was done, we were yours and you were ours. Thank you God! My You be glorified!
I got a little time that I didn't expect. Great! I am really enjoying writing you and was getting disappointed after 2 days of not writing. I just laid you down for your nap. You and I did that yesterday as well. You lay down so nicely. No fuss, no resistance. You just lay there as you wind down, rub your face a little, and suddenly you are asleep. You're so beautiful and peaceful lying there.
Yesterday was another eventful day. You woke up happy and smiling. I was surprised that you were the last one to wake up. Having your surroundings completely changed, experiencing the trauma of leaving everyone you know, and spending the night with nobody you know should be too much. Either we somehow convinced you that we were ok or you were just so spent emotionally and physically that your body just couldn't fight it. I tend to suspect that latter but take comfort in the former only because of how smooth it's gone thus far. I also take comfort in God's grace as I know all good things come from God, including you.
Our first breakfast as a family went well. You clearly let us know what you like and dislike. You like eggs, period! You liked sausage and bacon. You liked chicken nuggets. You liked rice noodles. You liked the first couple of bites of watermelon and cantaloupe, but only the first couple. There was a muffin that you ate some. You clearly did not like cabbage. As a cabbage connoisseur I thought the cabbage was excellent. You promptly moved it off your plate. An attempt to feed some to you from my fork was met with no debate, only your back. You continued to amaze us with all that you can do. For example, last night it was the bathroom and bathing. This morning you showed expert control of a very large and heavy fork. The orphanage representative told your mom you had used spoons. You scooped and stabbed with precision, had great aim, and if something dripped on your chin, you never broke stride. you smoothly slid the edge of the fork up your chin toward your bottom lip just like an experienced mom would do when feeding her infant baby food. Your information form from the orphanage said you only drank almond drink. This morning you drank milk, hurray! Almond drink would be hard to come by back home. In general you did not show much like for vegetables.
Mid-morning to lunch was spent back at Civil Affairs to complete "interviews" and adoption notarization. This made the adoption official, you were ours forever! Grace and Kathy explained on the bus ride there that 2 interviews would occur. 99% of the time these were done by females who would be brief, ask mostly the same questions, and be very nice. Only rarely would an interview be conducted by a male. If a male interviewed us, he was a bureaucrat. This meant he had to make his "office," or position, known. He would ask the same questions as well, and then some. He may not be as nice or brief. We were told all of our answers needed to be simple, brief, and kind. For example, when asked "why did you adopt Chinese baby," an appropriate answer would be "we like Chinese culture," "we think Chinese babies are cute," or "to help the babies." This goes back to the importance of appearance in Chinese culture. Well to make a long story short, guess who got interviewed by the bureaucrat, we did! It wasn't too bad but he did ask more and wasn't as nice. When I told him we adopted from China "to help the children" he didn't give me a warm, fuzzy feeling. I think to say "to help the children" was to admit there was a problem. He might have preferred "we like Chinese culture" as that shines a positive light on everything. Your mom quickly added the "Chinese culture" answer to mine and that made it okay. The bureaucrat asked at least 3 times why I was adopting a girl when I already had 3 girls. "Why not a boy?" I jokingly answered I knew how to do girls. A boy would be something I knew nothing about. He did smile at that. When it was done, we were yours and you were ours. Thank you God! My You be glorified!
December 12, 2007
2nd Floor Lobby, White Swan Hotel, Guangzhou
Where have two days gone? I have wanted, and have tried, unsuccessfully, to get back to "our" journal. Yes, this is our journal, because it's as much for you later (your whole life really) as it is for me. You may have many questions later. I am sure we will talk about them all over the years but perhaps there will be a certain depth, rather than breadth, found here that conversation can't portray.
Since my last letter a lot has happened. Biggest and best of course, we met! You and the rest of the family were united on Dec. 10, 2007 at approx. 4:15pm at the Civil Affairs office in Guangzhou, China. If by the time you read this you're not already aware, let me tell you that God has a sense of humor. On the bus to go to Civil Affairs, we were sitting in the back, thus we were last to get off. There are 11 families in our group so we had to go up the elevator in stages. Being last in line we were also last waiting for an elevator. While we waited, a nice, young Chinese lady (a girl really) came in and waited behind us. She had one hand full of stuff (bags, etc) and holding her other hand was a young girl. For what ever reason I didn't get a good look, I just knew they were there behind us. After some time, I noticed some activity in front of me as your sisters were whispering and pointing very discretely. One of them leaned toward your mom and whispered to her. Your mom looked over and down and focused as she examined the little girl. Next her eyes shot to me. I could read her lips as she silently mouthed "that's her!" Of course by this time I had already looked at the little girl causing the commotion but at my angle and the direction you were facing, all I could see was the top and back of your head and shoulders. I think I just smiled at your mom's "that's her" news. I didn't want to believe it, nor did I want your mom to believe it, in case she was wrong. We were already too nervous. Disappointment was the last thing we needed. I continued to watch you and your mom and sisters. At this moment you showed us a glimpse of your personality for the first time. You realized that they were looking, pointing, and talking about you so you turned slightly and took a step toward your orphanage representative, the young lady, and effectively turned your back to us. Our first peek at little miss independent. Over the last couple of days we have seen numerous similar displays of independence. I don't mean that negatively. It's just a statement of fact, if you can do it on your own, you prefer to do it on your own. As a matter of fact, yesterday, Katie, Gracie, and myself are all certain we heard you say, very clearly I might add, "I do it," as they tried to help you with something.
Back to the "gotcha" moment. That's what they call today, "Gotcha Day." We had been told on the bus that we would be the second family to be united with their child. As a result, we were ready... ready for someone else to go first that is. Suddenly Grace and Kathy, our CCAI representatives here in Guangzhou, move across the room saying "Jim and Tammy"
okay - I find that writing this is hard and am holding back tears so as to not make a scene in the lobby...
they move across the room saying "Jim and Tammy" and I am trying to hand over our video camera, the still picture camera was already handed to someone, when I turn back you have already made your entrance. Your mom and sisters have moved toward you and are bending and squatting to get to your level. Your orphanage rep, the young lady, is encouraging you with imperceptible words. I moved to join them. I want to see you and see your response but I am careful not to crowd you. Initially you pause, step back, and want to retreat to the young lady. She bravely and dutifully nudges and encourages you back. This was the moment I waived goodbye to the idea you'd come running into our arms. At the same moment I calmed and wanted to nurture, remembering what I had told myself dozens of times leading up to this moment, "she may have a tough time, we are strangers to her, she was close to her foster family, etc." Your mom instinctively went for the peanuts, your favorite snack we have been told. You would not let her feed it to you (more independence) but you would take it into your hand and feed yourself. You liked it and this scene repeated itself three or four times. Finally you allowed mom to feed you a peanut - the first breakthrough!
As a family, all of us moved to the end of a nearby sofa. The sofa went along three walls and had no arms on the end. Even though we were on the end, we really occupied two small sides making up a corner so we surrounded you to some degree. The young lady from the orphanage was still with us, a good thing, and the peanut feast continued, along with some water to wash 'em down. After a while the young lady stepped away to see how you would do. You sort of kept an eye on her and were all right if she was visible and the peanuts kept coming. The second breakthrough!
The big breakthrough came when my hand remained extended, palm up, and you had already taken the peanut out of my hand. You raised your hand high in the air, and in a flash, came down to slap mine. You "gave me five!" You smiled a big smile and suddenly we were playing. You decided I was "alright" enough to give me five and I hadn't even asked. Obviously this is a game you played with your foster father. Your sisters tried to "get five" from you but once again they saw your back. This was reserved for dad's only.
Up until now you had not really wanted to be touched. At some point we had all gotten off the couch, including you, and were standing. I thought to test the waters some more. I tried to pick you up. You had rejected your sisters' touching so I expected to same. Evidently, anyone ok to "slap five" is ok to let pick you up. You did not resist at all. I held you 5-10 minutes and that was enough. You were ready to get down and that was fine. You and I had crossed a significant bridge together and it was clear you were "daddy's girl." You had been a daddy's girl in foster care and you were a daddy's girl with your family.
You became a bit of a star during this "gotcha" time. Everyone else in our group of 11 received babies. Clearly you were the only one walking, running, throwing, catching, etc. Yes, that's right, throwing and catching. Your mom did such a good job. She packed the peanuts, the water, and even a soft inflatable ball that you loved. God really blessed this time. Our gotcha time went wonderfully well, and your mom knew all the right things to bring. God's grace and gifting are everywhere.
I need to go soon so let me wrap up "gotcha day." Back at the hotel you indicated that you needed to use the bathroom (#2) and you proved that even though it was only the second time you had used a "western" toilet, you could do it just fine. You took a bath and showed how you could bath yourself. You ate pizza, as far as we know for the first time in your life, and loved it. Mom made a pallet on the floor and you and Gracie slept together, just like you will when we get home.
It's time for me to get back to the room now. I'll try to write more to you later. Remember, I love you very much. God loves you too. I already know this but today made it even clearer how much. Love, Dad.
Where have two days gone? I have wanted, and have tried, unsuccessfully, to get back to "our" journal. Yes, this is our journal, because it's as much for you later (your whole life really) as it is for me. You may have many questions later. I am sure we will talk about them all over the years but perhaps there will be a certain depth, rather than breadth, found here that conversation can't portray.
Since my last letter a lot has happened. Biggest and best of course, we met! You and the rest of the family were united on Dec. 10, 2007 at approx. 4:15pm at the Civil Affairs office in Guangzhou, China. If by the time you read this you're not already aware, let me tell you that God has a sense of humor. On the bus to go to Civil Affairs, we were sitting in the back, thus we were last to get off. There are 11 families in our group so we had to go up the elevator in stages. Being last in line we were also last waiting for an elevator. While we waited, a nice, young Chinese lady (a girl really) came in and waited behind us. She had one hand full of stuff (bags, etc) and holding her other hand was a young girl. For what ever reason I didn't get a good look, I just knew they were there behind us. After some time, I noticed some activity in front of me as your sisters were whispering and pointing very discretely. One of them leaned toward your mom and whispered to her. Your mom looked over and down and focused as she examined the little girl. Next her eyes shot to me. I could read her lips as she silently mouthed "that's her!" Of course by this time I had already looked at the little girl causing the commotion but at my angle and the direction you were facing, all I could see was the top and back of your head and shoulders. I think I just smiled at your mom's "that's her" news. I didn't want to believe it, nor did I want your mom to believe it, in case she was wrong. We were already too nervous. Disappointment was the last thing we needed. I continued to watch you and your mom and sisters. At this moment you showed us a glimpse of your personality for the first time. You realized that they were looking, pointing, and talking about you so you turned slightly and took a step toward your orphanage representative, the young lady, and effectively turned your back to us. Our first peek at little miss independent. Over the last couple of days we have seen numerous similar displays of independence. I don't mean that negatively. It's just a statement of fact, if you can do it on your own, you prefer to do it on your own. As a matter of fact, yesterday, Katie, Gracie, and myself are all certain we heard you say, very clearly I might add, "I do it," as they tried to help you with something.
Back to the "gotcha" moment. That's what they call today, "Gotcha Day." We had been told on the bus that we would be the second family to be united with their child. As a result, we were ready... ready for someone else to go first that is. Suddenly Grace and Kathy, our CCAI representatives here in Guangzhou, move across the room saying "Jim and Tammy"
okay - I find that writing this is hard and am holding back tears so as to not make a scene in the lobby...
they move across the room saying "Jim and Tammy" and I am trying to hand over our video camera, the still picture camera was already handed to someone, when I turn back you have already made your entrance. Your mom and sisters have moved toward you and are bending and squatting to get to your level. Your orphanage rep, the young lady, is encouraging you with imperceptible words. I moved to join them. I want to see you and see your response but I am careful not to crowd you. Initially you pause, step back, and want to retreat to the young lady. She bravely and dutifully nudges and encourages you back. This was the moment I waived goodbye to the idea you'd come running into our arms. At the same moment I calmed and wanted to nurture, remembering what I had told myself dozens of times leading up to this moment, "she may have a tough time, we are strangers to her, she was close to her foster family, etc." Your mom instinctively went for the peanuts, your favorite snack we have been told. You would not let her feed it to you (more independence) but you would take it into your hand and feed yourself. You liked it and this scene repeated itself three or four times. Finally you allowed mom to feed you a peanut - the first breakthrough!
As a family, all of us moved to the end of a nearby sofa. The sofa went along three walls and had no arms on the end. Even though we were on the end, we really occupied two small sides making up a corner so we surrounded you to some degree. The young lady from the orphanage was still with us, a good thing, and the peanut feast continued, along with some water to wash 'em down. After a while the young lady stepped away to see how you would do. You sort of kept an eye on her and were all right if she was visible and the peanuts kept coming. The second breakthrough!
The big breakthrough came when my hand remained extended, palm up, and you had already taken the peanut out of my hand. You raised your hand high in the air, and in a flash, came down to slap mine. You "gave me five!" You smiled a big smile and suddenly we were playing. You decided I was "alright" enough to give me five and I hadn't even asked. Obviously this is a game you played with your foster father. Your sisters tried to "get five" from you but once again they saw your back. This was reserved for dad's only.
Up until now you had not really wanted to be touched. At some point we had all gotten off the couch, including you, and were standing. I thought to test the waters some more. I tried to pick you up. You had rejected your sisters' touching so I expected to same. Evidently, anyone ok to "slap five" is ok to let pick you up. You did not resist at all. I held you 5-10 minutes and that was enough. You were ready to get down and that was fine. You and I had crossed a significant bridge together and it was clear you were "daddy's girl." You had been a daddy's girl in foster care and you were a daddy's girl with your family.
You became a bit of a star during this "gotcha" time. Everyone else in our group of 11 received babies. Clearly you were the only one walking, running, throwing, catching, etc. Yes, that's right, throwing and catching. Your mom did such a good job. She packed the peanuts, the water, and even a soft inflatable ball that you loved. God really blessed this time. Our gotcha time went wonderfully well, and your mom knew all the right things to bring. God's grace and gifting are everywhere.
I need to go soon so let me wrap up "gotcha day." Back at the hotel you indicated that you needed to use the bathroom (#2) and you proved that even though it was only the second time you had used a "western" toilet, you could do it just fine. You took a bath and showed how you could bath yourself. You ate pizza, as far as we know for the first time in your life, and loved it. Mom made a pallet on the floor and you and Gracie slept together, just like you will when we get home.
It's time for me to get back to the room now. I'll try to write more to you later. Remember, I love you very much. God loves you too. I already know this but today made it even clearer how much. Love, Dad.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
December 9, 2007
Beijing Airport
We are at our gate waiting for boarding to begin so we can go to Guangzhou. The real highlight of today is that we get you tomorrow. In our hearts you are already a part of our family. Tomorrow you become a physical part of our family. The plane is starting to board. I will start back once on the plane...
Ok, we are all on the plane. I will write until I have to close my tray table.
As I was saying, tomorrow you become part of our physical family. It will be interesting to see if anyone sleeps tonight. All of us will be so excited and nervous. Our minds will be racing making it hard to sleep. I will lie awake asking many questions. Will you recognize me from the pictures we sent for you? Will you smile at us? Will you want to be held? Will you talk to us? Will I be able to say your name so that you recognize it? What will the remainder of that first day together look like? If our first meeting goes well, by that I mean you aren't scared or missing your foster family already, at what time will you start to miss them? When will our first big communication problem occur? What will that be about? Will you be hungry? thirsty? need to go to the bathroom? Will you be asking for your foster family? Regardless of what it is, whatever you are asking for, whatever you need, I pray that God will give me wisdom, patience, and the desire and ability to lead the family through it. As I lead, may God also give me the wisdom to listen to your mom. God has blessed her with gifts of motherhood. She will likely relate to and understand you better than I will. May God protect my heart if this occurs so that I am not hurt, frustrated, or jealous of this. I love you so much already and I want you to love me also. I know you will in time. God gives me faith for that. I desire that it happens sooner rather than later.
On our ride to he airport we had a more personal conversation with our guide, Lisa. We learned many things of Chinese culture, society, government policy, etc. As I recall various topics of your country's history, culture, policy, etc, I will mention them here for you so it is preserved for you. If I wait I will likely forget. You will be an American, you will have American citizenship, an American passport, etc. You will grow up in American culture, learn American social patterns, traditions, music, government, policies, etc. I do not know what the future holds for our ability or desire to teach and expose you to your Chinese culture and history. At times I think it would be good for you to know these things. At other times i think, "why?" You will most likely never return to China. There isn't now, and likely will not be, opportunity to discuss or share in any Chinese experiences. As I examine my motivations regarding this, I identify multiple reasons for thinking this way. Part is pride as an American (pride is a sin). Part is that I don't know how to do it. How to teach you these things about China, that is. I don't know it naturally of course. Where to get reliable resources for the information isn't clear to me There isn't much of a Chinese culture in or around Niceville that I know of. It seems as it would be very difficult to learn these things as it's so much different than I know (fear is a sin). Life will soon become very busy for me and my motivation and energies will be pulled in different directions (slothfulness is a sin). Time will tell. Since you are so young, within a very short time your memory of China, the people, the language, etc may disappear. As you get older you may have no interest in these things. I can't imagine that you would unless we developed that in you or until you were much older anyway. Speaking of you when you get much older, that opens up a whole new set of questions, and concerns (more fearful sinning). For example, will you feel like a real part of the family (which you most certainly are) or will you feel different somehow? Will you be interested in China and Chinese things? If so, how might those interests pull you , or me, or the whole family, in different directions? I'll stop there with these questions as that could easily consume me as your father and the leader of the family. I love you and will get fearful for our relationship. I am tasked to lead the family and can get anxious for our future. These behaviors are all part of my sinful nature. Like all of us, my nature separated me from God. God loved me, and all of us, so he sent Jesus to make a way for bridging the relationship. I am no longer separated from God because of these sins. My sins are forgiven; past, present, and future. With God, his Holy Spirit that is, I pray that God will continue to work in me so that I sin less, am sanctified more, and grow to be more like Christ. I pray that for you as well. God called me to himself. He used many people and events in my life to do this. Ultimately the Holy Spirit changed my heart. As your father, as God is our Father, I desire the same for you and all my children. I desire the same for every person. Numbers 6:24-26 & Romans 9:14-18.
Your mom asked Lisa if there were churches in China. Lisa advised there were many churches in China as China is "open" to this. She did not make mention of how free the churches are. It would be interesting to hear her explain why there is an underground church (Christian) in China since China is "open" to religion. She did explain that if you are a member of the Communist Party, you are not allowed to believe in any religion. If you did and the party found out, you would be punished. This began a conversation about what the word "party" means, or how it is used. It seems different in China than the U.S. when referring to government. I explained Republican party and Democrat party and they would each vote to send their choice for office and that in the general election anyone can vote for either candidate. Lisa's response was revealing. She said, "that is because they are equal and have equal rights." She explained that only the Communist party has any rights in China. Other parties have no rights and no power to do anything. Lisa also explained to be a member of the Communist party is to be viewed as a "good person." Party members are "good people." Once a year the local people will vote to determine who will become members of the party. If you are not viewed as a good person you will not be chosen. Only a few people are chosen each year. The process is something that a person applies for. If a person wanted to join the party, they would apply and be interviewed. A complete check of your background, etc would be done to determine if you are eligible. Lisa explained that the Communist party is very small. This of course is relative. Lisa says there are "only" 60 million members of the party. Of course this is an enormous number of people but compared to the population, over 1.5 billion, this is small. One other thing Lisa said that caught my attention, in mentioning the background check that would be done on anyone applying to become a member of the party, was that if a person had ever been on house arrest, they would never be allowed to join the party. I would like to have heard her talk about house arrest. What gets someone placed on house arrest?
We talked to Lisa about school and the labor force some. She mentioned that after the Spring festival in the rural countryside, much of the population comes to the cities looking for work. There is no money to be made in the countryside. The people live on just a few thousand Juan per year. At this time $1 = 7.35 Juan. So 2-3 thousand Juan per year is only $300-$500 per year. When the farmers come to the city they have no skills except to be used as laborers. They mostly do construction. This would explain some of her comments during tours and such. She had pointed out very poor quality buildings that looked like abandoned 1950's motels on highways that were replaced when the interstate went in the next county. These Lisa said were the living places provided for the laborers by their employers. The buildings were built for them and would be torn down when not needed. She also made mention that clothing would be provided by the employer as well. I told Lisa that similar systems exist in America such as the use of Mexican and Central American labor to harvest fruit and vegetables. In the American and Chinese examples, people with little or no skills were used as inexpensive labor to do work that other people did not, or would not, do. Lisa had already commented that the people living in the city see the construction laborers doing very hard work and making very low wages and they would not do the work.
Lisa is obviously one of the educated Chinese, as many are. Also many are not.... It was interesting to hear her say that because China has very inexpensive labor, in this case in its factories, many companies have moved their factories and plants to China. A few days earlier, Phebe (our guide from the airport when we arrived) had said that in China they copy everything. I see this as 2 different individuals, both educated, both revealing that it is common knowledge among he Chinese (of the city anyway) that much of what their economy is built on is making inexpensive copies of other peoples' creations. I sensed no pride or embarrassment in their statement, just statements of fact. Although if I had to choose, I would certainly not say pride. Embarrassment would be too strong a term to explain their thoughts. They would smile, and I think Phebe even chuckled when saying it, which if interpreted correctly, revealed a sense of humor about it.
A revealing statement from Lisa this morning was that to really see China (or perhaps, to see the "real" China) you must go to the countryside. The cities are really not a representation of what the country itself is like. The country is so large and the cities make up a small portion. This statement lead to conversation about education and the "one couple - one child" policy.
As for education, I was piecing together statements Lisa had made at different times and trying to make sense of them in order to get an understanding of the big picture. For example, "people from the countryside had few skills to use in the city." "Mandarin, math, and English are compulsory in primary school." "School is available to everyone." "School is expensive" (in the city). Etc, etc, etc... More or less it came together like this...
Day to day, especially in the city (I haven't seen rural areas yet but hope to), it's very much like the U.S. Except for this big thing, the government (the Party), which can do whatever it wants in the name of the people, you could not tell China from America. There are clearly the "haves" and the "have nots," rich and poor, entitled and disenfranchised, etc. Except for the government, China cities are very, very, capitalistic. It's about who has money and who doesn't. This translates to education. Although school is available to everyone, in the city, it isn't free so in reality it's only available to those who can afford it. In the countryside, it is frequently too poor and even the local governments cannot afford to build and staff schools. Evidently there is a federal program to raise money to build some of these country (rural) schools. The city people are asked to donate money. This money is used to build rural schools but although some schools are built, I was not convinced, nor did Lisa seem convinced, that this program was going to educate the rural people anytime soon. In true national pride though, Lisa was clearly proud that her country and people were doing this because it was a "good thing." Appearance is so important here. The appearance of doing a good thing like this is something to be proud of whether it is truly successful or not.
We are at our gate waiting for boarding to begin so we can go to Guangzhou. The real highlight of today is that we get you tomorrow. In our hearts you are already a part of our family. Tomorrow you become a physical part of our family. The plane is starting to board. I will start back once on the plane...
Ok, we are all on the plane. I will write until I have to close my tray table.
As I was saying, tomorrow you become part of our physical family. It will be interesting to see if anyone sleeps tonight. All of us will be so excited and nervous. Our minds will be racing making it hard to sleep. I will lie awake asking many questions. Will you recognize me from the pictures we sent for you? Will you smile at us? Will you want to be held? Will you talk to us? Will I be able to say your name so that you recognize it? What will the remainder of that first day together look like? If our first meeting goes well, by that I mean you aren't scared or missing your foster family already, at what time will you start to miss them? When will our first big communication problem occur? What will that be about? Will you be hungry? thirsty? need to go to the bathroom? Will you be asking for your foster family? Regardless of what it is, whatever you are asking for, whatever you need, I pray that God will give me wisdom, patience, and the desire and ability to lead the family through it. As I lead, may God also give me the wisdom to listen to your mom. God has blessed her with gifts of motherhood. She will likely relate to and understand you better than I will. May God protect my heart if this occurs so that I am not hurt, frustrated, or jealous of this. I love you so much already and I want you to love me also. I know you will in time. God gives me faith for that. I desire that it happens sooner rather than later.
On our ride to he airport we had a more personal conversation with our guide, Lisa. We learned many things of Chinese culture, society, government policy, etc. As I recall various topics of your country's history, culture, policy, etc, I will mention them here for you so it is preserved for you. If I wait I will likely forget. You will be an American, you will have American citizenship, an American passport, etc. You will grow up in American culture, learn American social patterns, traditions, music, government, policies, etc. I do not know what the future holds for our ability or desire to teach and expose you to your Chinese culture and history. At times I think it would be good for you to know these things. At other times i think, "why?" You will most likely never return to China. There isn't now, and likely will not be, opportunity to discuss or share in any Chinese experiences. As I examine my motivations regarding this, I identify multiple reasons for thinking this way. Part is pride as an American (pride is a sin). Part is that I don't know how to do it. How to teach you these things about China, that is. I don't know it naturally of course. Where to get reliable resources for the information isn't clear to me There isn't much of a Chinese culture in or around Niceville that I know of. It seems as it would be very difficult to learn these things as it's so much different than I know (fear is a sin). Life will soon become very busy for me and my motivation and energies will be pulled in different directions (slothfulness is a sin). Time will tell. Since you are so young, within a very short time your memory of China, the people, the language, etc may disappear. As you get older you may have no interest in these things. I can't imagine that you would unless we developed that in you or until you were much older anyway. Speaking of you when you get much older, that opens up a whole new set of questions, and concerns (more fearful sinning). For example, will you feel like a real part of the family (which you most certainly are) or will you feel different somehow? Will you be interested in China and Chinese things? If so, how might those interests pull you , or me, or the whole family, in different directions? I'll stop there with these questions as that could easily consume me as your father and the leader of the family. I love you and will get fearful for our relationship. I am tasked to lead the family and can get anxious for our future. These behaviors are all part of my sinful nature. Like all of us, my nature separated me from God. God loved me, and all of us, so he sent Jesus to make a way for bridging the relationship. I am no longer separated from God because of these sins. My sins are forgiven; past, present, and future. With God, his Holy Spirit that is, I pray that God will continue to work in me so that I sin less, am sanctified more, and grow to be more like Christ. I pray that for you as well. God called me to himself. He used many people and events in my life to do this. Ultimately the Holy Spirit changed my heart. As your father, as God is our Father, I desire the same for you and all my children. I desire the same for every person. Numbers 6:24-26 & Romans 9:14-18.
Your mom asked Lisa if there were churches in China. Lisa advised there were many churches in China as China is "open" to this. She did not make mention of how free the churches are. It would be interesting to hear her explain why there is an underground church (Christian) in China since China is "open" to religion. She did explain that if you are a member of the Communist Party, you are not allowed to believe in any religion. If you did and the party found out, you would be punished. This began a conversation about what the word "party" means, or how it is used. It seems different in China than the U.S. when referring to government. I explained Republican party and Democrat party and they would each vote to send their choice for office and that in the general election anyone can vote for either candidate. Lisa's response was revealing. She said, "that is because they are equal and have equal rights." She explained that only the Communist party has any rights in China. Other parties have no rights and no power to do anything. Lisa also explained to be a member of the Communist party is to be viewed as a "good person." Party members are "good people." Once a year the local people will vote to determine who will become members of the party. If you are not viewed as a good person you will not be chosen. Only a few people are chosen each year. The process is something that a person applies for. If a person wanted to join the party, they would apply and be interviewed. A complete check of your background, etc would be done to determine if you are eligible. Lisa explained that the Communist party is very small. This of course is relative. Lisa says there are "only" 60 million members of the party. Of course this is an enormous number of people but compared to the population, over 1.5 billion, this is small. One other thing Lisa said that caught my attention, in mentioning the background check that would be done on anyone applying to become a member of the party, was that if a person had ever been on house arrest, they would never be allowed to join the party. I would like to have heard her talk about house arrest. What gets someone placed on house arrest?
We talked to Lisa about school and the labor force some. She mentioned that after the Spring festival in the rural countryside, much of the population comes to the cities looking for work. There is no money to be made in the countryside. The people live on just a few thousand Juan per year. At this time $1 = 7.35 Juan. So 2-3 thousand Juan per year is only $300-$500 per year. When the farmers come to the city they have no skills except to be used as laborers. They mostly do construction. This would explain some of her comments during tours and such. She had pointed out very poor quality buildings that looked like abandoned 1950's motels on highways that were replaced when the interstate went in the next county. These Lisa said were the living places provided for the laborers by their employers. The buildings were built for them and would be torn down when not needed. She also made mention that clothing would be provided by the employer as well. I told Lisa that similar systems exist in America such as the use of Mexican and Central American labor to harvest fruit and vegetables. In the American and Chinese examples, people with little or no skills were used as inexpensive labor to do work that other people did not, or would not, do. Lisa had already commented that the people living in the city see the construction laborers doing very hard work and making very low wages and they would not do the work.
Lisa is obviously one of the educated Chinese, as many are. Also many are not.... It was interesting to hear her say that because China has very inexpensive labor, in this case in its factories, many companies have moved their factories and plants to China. A few days earlier, Phebe (our guide from the airport when we arrived) had said that in China they copy everything. I see this as 2 different individuals, both educated, both revealing that it is common knowledge among he Chinese (of the city anyway) that much of what their economy is built on is making inexpensive copies of other peoples' creations. I sensed no pride or embarrassment in their statement, just statements of fact. Although if I had to choose, I would certainly not say pride. Embarrassment would be too strong a term to explain their thoughts. They would smile, and I think Phebe even chuckled when saying it, which if interpreted correctly, revealed a sense of humor about it.
A revealing statement from Lisa this morning was that to really see China (or perhaps, to see the "real" China) you must go to the countryside. The cities are really not a representation of what the country itself is like. The country is so large and the cities make up a small portion. This statement lead to conversation about education and the "one couple - one child" policy.
As for education, I was piecing together statements Lisa had made at different times and trying to make sense of them in order to get an understanding of the big picture. For example, "people from the countryside had few skills to use in the city." "Mandarin, math, and English are compulsory in primary school." "School is available to everyone." "School is expensive" (in the city). Etc, etc, etc... More or less it came together like this...
Day to day, especially in the city (I haven't seen rural areas yet but hope to), it's very much like the U.S. Except for this big thing, the government (the Party), which can do whatever it wants in the name of the people, you could not tell China from America. There are clearly the "haves" and the "have nots," rich and poor, entitled and disenfranchised, etc. Except for the government, China cities are very, very, capitalistic. It's about who has money and who doesn't. This translates to education. Although school is available to everyone, in the city, it isn't free so in reality it's only available to those who can afford it. In the countryside, it is frequently too poor and even the local governments cannot afford to build and staff schools. Evidently there is a federal program to raise money to build some of these country (rural) schools. The city people are asked to donate money. This money is used to build rural schools but although some schools are built, I was not convinced, nor did Lisa seem convinced, that this program was going to educate the rural people anytime soon. In true national pride though, Lisa was clearly proud that her country and people were doing this because it was a "good thing." Appearance is so important here. The appearance of doing a good thing like this is something to be proud of whether it is truly successful or not.
December 7, 2007
Bedtime at Hotel
Today we toured. Our guides, Phebe and Lisa, were wonderful. Phebe picked us up at the airport and took us to the hotel. She did this to help us and Lisa as she is not even a CCAI employee. Lisa planned the day so that the whole group would go to the Forbidden City and Tienman Square in the afternoon. This was for our benefit as she did not want us to miss it and our flight arrived early enough for us to do that.
I will ellaborate more on the details another time as I am now going to bed. We are all tired and tomorrow we go to the Great Wall. We will need our rest. Love, Dad.
Today we toured. Our guides, Phebe and Lisa, were wonderful. Phebe picked us up at the airport and took us to the hotel. She did this to help us and Lisa as she is not even a CCAI employee. Lisa planned the day so that the whole group would go to the Forbidden City and Tienman Square in the afternoon. This was for our benefit as she did not want us to miss it and our flight arrived early enough for us to do that.
I will ellaborate more on the details another time as I am now going to bed. We are all tired and tomorrow we go to the Great Wall. We will need our rest. Love, Dad.
December 7, 2007
30 Minutes to Beijing
Aside from not bathing or changing clothes for 2 days, we are new people this morning. Plenty of good sleep, a nice breakfast, and a cup of strong coffee make all the difference. I just asked your sisters if they felt like it was morning or evening to them. They all agree they feel like it's morning. In reality, it's 7pm at home in Florida right now. Hopefully our bodies will continue to adjust, or possibly stay adjusted, they way they feel now. If we stay adjusted, it will make our time with you so much better as we won't be fighting our bodies or being distracted by it. Perhaps we are experiencing answer to our prayers that God would make this adjustment easy on us.
We just got beneath the clouds, as we are near Beijing now, and we see beautiful, large, snowy mountains. Because China and America are such large countries, there is so much diversity in the geography - we both come from special places. Special places that God created for his glory and our enjoyment. We should praise God when we see such wonderful landscapes because only he could create such magnificence. He also created you and you are also magnificent. Love, Dad.
Aside from not bathing or changing clothes for 2 days, we are new people this morning. Plenty of good sleep, a nice breakfast, and a cup of strong coffee make all the difference. I just asked your sisters if they felt like it was morning or evening to them. They all agree they feel like it's morning. In reality, it's 7pm at home in Florida right now. Hopefully our bodies will continue to adjust, or possibly stay adjusted, they way they feel now. If we stay adjusted, it will make our time with you so much better as we won't be fighting our bodies or being distracted by it. Perhaps we are experiencing answer to our prayers that God would make this adjustment easy on us.
We just got beneath the clouds, as we are near Beijing now, and we see beautiful, large, snowy mountains. Because China and America are such large countries, there is so much diversity in the geography - we both come from special places. Special places that God created for his glory and our enjoyment. We should praise God when we see such wonderful landscapes because only he could create such magnificence. He also created you and you are also magnificent. Love, Dad.
December 6, 2007
Over Russia en route to Beijing
It has been a very long day, mostly because we are so sleepy and tired. At this moment mom and I feel much , much better. Once we were on board this plane everyone immediately fell asleep. All the young children and babies on this flight are very quiet so we have slept well. For dinner, we just finished eating, I had the choice of chicken or pasta. I went with the chicken which turned out to be a Chinese styled chicken, rice, spinach, and cashew meal. It was probably the best airline meal I have ever had. Having got the best sleep and the best meal of the trip, I feel quite nice now. Once I finish this entry I will try to sleep again. When the plane lands it will be about 9am in Beijing and we are supposed to start touring. We will need our rest and by sleeping and then waking up in the morning, Beijing time, perhaps we will help our biological clocks adjust.
When we arrived in Amsterdam we took our time to get our bearings, brush our teeth, and some of us put on a fresh shirt. Because we had about 7 hours before the flight to Beijing, we decided to try to get in a tour of Amsterdam. We found a bus tour that was based in the airport. That tour lasted 2 1/2 hours and gave us a very nice feel for the city. We saw some "country" outside the city which included farmland, dikes, and a couple traditional Dutch windmills. In the city there were many examples of old architecture in the houses, churches, museums, theatres and a palace or two. We saw a couple of thatched roofs. Some streets were paved and many others were cobblestone. The streets were very, very , I would say extremely, narrow, especially by American standards. Many vehicles travelling quickly, very narrow streets, thousand of bicycles and pedestrians, it was quite surprising that we didn't hit someone or they hit us ... oh yeah, I forgot there were also trains moving quickly in all this as well. Our driver did share that he has had a few collisions while doing tours. I'm not surprised. I am happy it didn't happen while we were here.
As for one of the famous things the Netherlands and Amsterdam are known for is the system of dikes. The city and the country lie below sea level so it is imperative they be able to remove water to prevent flooding. The fact they can do this is very impressive. It also makes for a beautiful city as the old roads, the old buildings, and the many thousands of cars, trucks, bikes and pedestrians, don't forget boats as well, exist among a network of rivers and canals.
One other thing we saw was the home of Anne Frank. You will learn about her as you grow up. Your sisters enjoyed learning about her and were excited to see the house even if it was just to drive by and take a few pictures of the outside. At this point I am reminded that you and Anne have much in common. At young ages you found yourselves in extremely difficult circumstances and with little reason to hope for improvement. Although Anne's work, her diary, lives on as an inspiration to millions of people, she was unable to survive her circumstances. I thank God that he has a different plan for you. You will survive. In fact, you will thrive! Again, I marvel at the greatness of God to unite us from opposite sides of the world. Many people would say you are a lucky girl. Since I don't believe in luck anymore, I would have to disagree. I would instead say that we are thankful that in God's sovereignty, he decided to glorify himself in this way. Again, that's not luck, that's God. He loves us. He loves you! Just as I am adopting you, God adopted me. Just as you are a complete member of my family, and thus you are entitled to anything and everything that my other children, your sisters, are entitled to, God has made me a complete member of his family. I have full access, as an heir, to God's kingdom just like his son, Jesus. We have prayed that God would also make you part of his family.
Well I should get some sleep now. See you in just 4 1/2 days. Love, Dad.
It has been a very long day, mostly because we are so sleepy and tired. At this moment mom and I feel much , much better. Once we were on board this plane everyone immediately fell asleep. All the young children and babies on this flight are very quiet so we have slept well. For dinner, we just finished eating, I had the choice of chicken or pasta. I went with the chicken which turned out to be a Chinese styled chicken, rice, spinach, and cashew meal. It was probably the best airline meal I have ever had. Having got the best sleep and the best meal of the trip, I feel quite nice now. Once I finish this entry I will try to sleep again. When the plane lands it will be about 9am in Beijing and we are supposed to start touring. We will need our rest and by sleeping and then waking up in the morning, Beijing time, perhaps we will help our biological clocks adjust.
When we arrived in Amsterdam we took our time to get our bearings, brush our teeth, and some of us put on a fresh shirt. Because we had about 7 hours before the flight to Beijing, we decided to try to get in a tour of Amsterdam. We found a bus tour that was based in the airport. That tour lasted 2 1/2 hours and gave us a very nice feel for the city. We saw some "country" outside the city which included farmland, dikes, and a couple traditional Dutch windmills. In the city there were many examples of old architecture in the houses, churches, museums, theatres and a palace or two. We saw a couple of thatched roofs. Some streets were paved and many others were cobblestone. The streets were very, very , I would say extremely, narrow, especially by American standards. Many vehicles travelling quickly, very narrow streets, thousand of bicycles and pedestrians, it was quite surprising that we didn't hit someone or they hit us ... oh yeah, I forgot there were also trains moving quickly in all this as well. Our driver did share that he has had a few collisions while doing tours. I'm not surprised. I am happy it didn't happen while we were here.
As for one of the famous things the Netherlands and Amsterdam are known for is the system of dikes. The city and the country lie below sea level so it is imperative they be able to remove water to prevent flooding. The fact they can do this is very impressive. It also makes for a beautiful city as the old roads, the old buildings, and the many thousands of cars, trucks, bikes and pedestrians, don't forget boats as well, exist among a network of rivers and canals.
One other thing we saw was the home of Anne Frank. You will learn about her as you grow up. Your sisters enjoyed learning about her and were excited to see the house even if it was just to drive by and take a few pictures of the outside. At this point I am reminded that you and Anne have much in common. At young ages you found yourselves in extremely difficult circumstances and with little reason to hope for improvement. Although Anne's work, her diary, lives on as an inspiration to millions of people, she was unable to survive her circumstances. I thank God that he has a different plan for you. You will survive. In fact, you will thrive! Again, I marvel at the greatness of God to unite us from opposite sides of the world. Many people would say you are a lucky girl. Since I don't believe in luck anymore, I would have to disagree. I would instead say that we are thankful that in God's sovereignty, he decided to glorify himself in this way. Again, that's not luck, that's God. He loves us. He loves you! Just as I am adopting you, God adopted me. Just as you are a complete member of my family, and thus you are entitled to anything and everything that my other children, your sisters, are entitled to, God has made me a complete member of his family. I have full access, as an heir, to God's kingdom just like his son, Jesus. We have prayed that God would also make you part of his family.
Well I should get some sleep now. See you in just 4 1/2 days. Love, Dad.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
December 6, 2007
Nearing Amsterdam
We have been in the air all night. We had supper and breakfast on the plane. Everyone watched a movie and tried to get some sleep. "Pooch" slept great as she really stretched out. Since she was on mom and "elf", they didn't get as much sleep. There were a number of young children on the plane that had moments of fussiness. There was one who cried all night. I kept thinking he would get tired and fall asleep. I was wrong. I also couldn't help but think about our ride home from China with you. How would you do on the plane? I doubt you have ever flown before so will you be scared? We will have been together for almost 2 weeks before the flight home. Will you be used to us by then? If not fully, as I'd expect, then even a little? I have prayed for your comfort during that part of the journey as well as for patience on my own part. Regardless of how the flight goes, it means that we are on our way home to begin our lives together. Love you lots, Dad!
We have been in the air all night. We had supper and breakfast on the plane. Everyone watched a movie and tried to get some sleep. "Pooch" slept great as she really stretched out. Since she was on mom and "elf", they didn't get as much sleep. There were a number of young children on the plane that had moments of fussiness. There was one who cried all night. I kept thinking he would get tired and fall asleep. I was wrong. I also couldn't help but think about our ride home from China with you. How would you do on the plane? I doubt you have ever flown before so will you be scared? We will have been together for almost 2 weeks before the flight home. Will you be used to us by then? If not fully, as I'd expect, then even a little? I have prayed for your comfort during that part of the journey as well as for patience on my own part. Regardless of how the flight goes, it means that we are on our way home to begin our lives together. Love you lots, Dad!
December 5, 2007
FOR MY DAUGHTER
FROM DAD (BA BA)
It's now 2pm and our plane has only been in the air a few minutes. We should have lifted off at 6am so we are well behind schedule now. That's ok though because I know God is in charge, he is sovereign over all things, including getting us to China. Because we had an early flight in our schedule, we have been up since a little after 3am. Although it's only 2pm, it feels like it's bedtime. To be so early, my emotions and anxiety levels have been on a non-stop roller coaster ride for what seem forever. But I want you to know something, you are worth it!
As the process of your adoption has moved along, I found myself greatly uneffected when delays and such occurred. I rested in knowing it was in God's hands. The most significant delay occurred when our file was misplaced in China. We don't know how long it was missing, but rather than the average 80-90 day time frame for the particular step in the process we were at, it took 199 days. Your mom, well, she "struggled" with this. She was in communication with many other moms and it was tough seeing their files moving forward while we waited. I encouraged your mom with what I took comfort in, God's sovereignty and his timing. Your mom knows about God's sovereignty and his timing as well but we all need reminders now and again. Your mom became such a servant to so many of the families she was communicating with using "yahoo groups" and message boards. She encouraged them by sharing the same reminders. Your mom grew spiritually in this process. It's a good thing too.
Why? Well today, when our original flight didn't work out, and subsequent efforts to get us on earlier flights {than the one we are on now} didn't workout, I forgot (not completely) about being patient and resting in God's sovereignty. I never said anything harsh or was impolite to the airlines staff, but in my heart I was angry, frustrated, laying blame, presuming the worst, etc. That's why it's so good that your mom had been through her trials and had grown. It was her turn to remind me that God was in control and that everything was going to work out. In my heart I knew she was right, but my sinful nature wanted to express itself. In this case that didn't mean harsh words, but instead a very poor attitude that anyone around me could see.
Your sisters have done so well in all this. I am certain the excitement of flying around the world is only surpassed by getting you in the process. These girls love you so much already, as we all do. You are a very special girl to have God do so much to bring us together.
The growth, due to the temptations, must be to prepare us for the times ahead. I have no expectation that your transition into our family, and away from the loving family you have known for over a year now, will be easy. The fact you will probably experience much difficulty during this time means we, especially me, will have much difficulty as well. God has been gracious to begin preparing us in advance. The preparation, the growth, and God's grace will enable us to serve you better in your time of need. I am thankful that none of the delays surprised God. I am thankful that God always knew where your file was. I am thankful that none of this is left to chance. Nothing is too big for God. People can loose paperwork, planes can break, and weather can turn bad (that's why even the flight we're on left almost 2 hours late), but God will still get us to China, to you, when it's time.
I love you, dad.
FROM DAD (BA BA)
It's now 2pm and our plane has only been in the air a few minutes. We should have lifted off at 6am so we are well behind schedule now. That's ok though because I know God is in charge, he is sovereign over all things, including getting us to China. Because we had an early flight in our schedule, we have been up since a little after 3am. Although it's only 2pm, it feels like it's bedtime. To be so early, my emotions and anxiety levels have been on a non-stop roller coaster ride for what seem forever. But I want you to know something, you are worth it!
As the process of your adoption has moved along, I found myself greatly uneffected when delays and such occurred. I rested in knowing it was in God's hands. The most significant delay occurred when our file was misplaced in China. We don't know how long it was missing, but rather than the average 80-90 day time frame for the particular step in the process we were at, it took 199 days. Your mom, well, she "struggled" with this. She was in communication with many other moms and it was tough seeing their files moving forward while we waited. I encouraged your mom with what I took comfort in, God's sovereignty and his timing. Your mom knows about God's sovereignty and his timing as well but we all need reminders now and again. Your mom became such a servant to so many of the families she was communicating with using "yahoo groups" and message boards. She encouraged them by sharing the same reminders. Your mom grew spiritually in this process. It's a good thing too.
Why? Well today, when our original flight didn't work out, and subsequent efforts to get us on earlier flights {than the one we are on now} didn't workout, I forgot (not completely) about being patient and resting in God's sovereignty. I never said anything harsh or was impolite to the airlines staff, but in my heart I was angry, frustrated, laying blame, presuming the worst, etc. That's why it's so good that your mom had been through her trials and had grown. It was her turn to remind me that God was in control and that everything was going to work out. In my heart I knew she was right, but my sinful nature wanted to express itself. In this case that didn't mean harsh words, but instead a very poor attitude that anyone around me could see.
Your sisters have done so well in all this. I am certain the excitement of flying around the world is only surpassed by getting you in the process. These girls love you so much already, as we all do. You are a very special girl to have God do so much to bring us together.
The growth, due to the temptations, must be to prepare us for the times ahead. I have no expectation that your transition into our family, and away from the loving family you have known for over a year now, will be easy. The fact you will probably experience much difficulty during this time means we, especially me, will have much difficulty as well. God has been gracious to begin preparing us in advance. The preparation, the growth, and God's grace will enable us to serve you better in your time of need. I am thankful that none of the delays surprised God. I am thankful that God always knew where your file was. I am thankful that none of this is left to chance. Nothing is too big for God. People can loose paperwork, planes can break, and weather can turn bad (that's why even the flight we're on left almost 2 hours late), but God will still get us to China, to you, when it's time.
I love you, dad.
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